Thanks starting over. I do understand that submitting has to be in the context of the commandments. If my husband asks me to lie, I wouldn't do it.
The part about my sons looking at porn, is how they do, and will, view women. When I caught my oldest son with a video (he was 16) that's what I worried about. I did not want to embarrass him so I wrote him a letter and left it on his pillow. I was not judgmental or humiliating. I just told him that women are to be respected and cherished and that her body is sacred, not an object. My next son was caught with a magazine, I told him the same. This time, my husband caught our 12 year old (they get younger each time). I asked him if he explained to him why it was wrong and he said he didn't get that far. Of course, I will have to talk to my son. I must always pick up the slack. My husband wouldn't call it a sin and he wouldn't be able to tell him why it's wrong, if he does it too. My husband is claiming that he hasn't been looking at porn since the last time I caught him, but I honestly don't believe him. At this point, even if he hasn't been, I still blame him. There is an evil spirit attached to porn and when you open the door, they keep coming in.