Hello, all.

I stumbled on this board with experiences the same as lot of yours. The spouse that I thought was faithful all these years viewed pornography, much to my astonishment.

"My astonishment," because he's had a lot of bad experiences with the women in his life, and he's convinced I'm going to run out on him and the marriage, or that I'm going to have an affair despite the fact that, after close to 20 years of marriage, I've never wanted anyone other than him and he knows it. How's that for irony?

I'm not saying this is a "every night" thing, and at least he had the guts to tell me me, but I thought his reasons, that I was "unavailable" to him because I'd been ill with a bronchial infection were a little much.

Now -- I'm no prude or anything, but the idea that he was sitting in front of the computer, looking at this stuff, with our son asleep in the next room and with me reading in our bedroom makes me a little queasy.

I did find out about his viewing habits, not only because of the "history" but also by accessing the temporary Internet files with the "cookies" in them. It told me the full story, and probably more than I wanted to know. Now I can add trust issues and being a snoop to this whole thing.

We've enjoyed "adult movies" together in the past, but the secrecy and stealth of this is what I don't like. Since he's confessed this, he hasn't accessed it (and yes, I've checked, and his workplace has a firewall preventing that type of thing, so as far as I know, he can't do it there) but I'm still trying to move beyond the anger and pain this is causing.

Thanks for listening and thanks for your feedback. I thought I was overreacting when I learned about this, but I guess not, not given the other posts.