China, there are many educated women out there in the very same situation.

You are doing it the right way. Consulting a lawyer first to get to know all the legal aspects is important. Having your finances in order is very important.

Please, don't feel like a fool. The only one who is a fool and about to be a big loser is your husband. Can he change or will he change? Only you know the answer. If it's no then it's time to go but not without doing all your "homework" first to ensure your peace of mind and comfort financially. I've seen many women leave their husbands and find nice men, yes, even in our age group. Even if you remain single it will still be better than the hurt and humiliation you now feel. It's not impossible to find happiness again, but why wait until you're ancient out of some unfounded fear?

The longer a woman plays "wait and see" the more she has postponed her happiness for her future.