Hi there and thank you girls again. Yes, some progress. I went to see a counselor today. She basically told me the same thing you ladies are. I have these choices: leave, ask him to go to counseling, i can accept it and go to S-Anon. I came home and spoke to him. It went ok, no screaming. I told him my choices and asked him twice if he would go to counseling with me. He said NO. He is 59, been this way all his life, not about to change. So there you have it. The counselor gave me this web site: www.serenitycenter.homestead.com. I can go to meetings and I just may, so I do not get caught up in this again. I would need to go to the S-ANON, 12 step program.