Okay, now that the can of worms is officially opened and writing around on the floor . . . :-)

Chatty -- you're right. Most women will not rush out onto the Internet to "get their rocks off." But consider this: There is a rise in "erotica" romance books, and there is a reason for this. The primary market for these books is -- women. Women like to indulge in their sexual fantasies as much as men do, otherwise these romances wouldn't be multi-million dollar sellers. With an erotica romance, women believe they're getting a little plot with their bedroom heat.

And yes, some men are threatened by this -- because they can't live up to the images of the perfect hero portrayed in these books.

Is there a difference between women who read romances with heat and men who actively view porn and cheat on their wives by going to strip clubs or having affairs? Of course. But let's face it -- BOTH sexes enjoy looking and reading and fantasizing. It's how they react to it that can create problems.

I'm going to sound like a broken record here -- if any sexual media -- porn, romance novels, pictures, etc., are used as a substitute, rather than as an adjunct to, there are problems wih the relationship.

A woman who bemoans the fact that her husband isn't the rippling-muscled Adonis portrayed in a romance novel and, as a result, can't respond to her husband's loving overtures is, in many ways, as deluded as the man who gets aroused by porn but can't sustain much for his wife.

The whole gist of my theory is that when this happens, there are issues other than what goes on in the bedroom when things get to that point.

BTW, Number5, I loved your comments, thank you. "Attraction" is defined not necessarily by physical types, but how you phrased it -- unconditional love, a good sense of humor and tenderness. Nor does menopause mean "dried up" in a woman. I'm perimenopausal, yet still enjoy what goes on in the bedroom, probably even moreso than when I was in my 20s. While my guy is not a "hottie" in the conventional sense, I have always been attracted to him.