From Dotsie
"Questions to consider:

Where is the father of the first two children?
Where are their grandparents?
Where are her parents?
Why are you the one to have to provide?
Can you seek guidance from a minister or social worker?"

The father from the first two has taken an interest in his children. He now has custody of the youngest (the one year old). My son thinks this is a good thing and that 'we' may be able to take custody of his child by her.

The woman's father claims not to have enough room for his daughter and grandchildren. The mother uses drugs. The young mother was working but was laid off during a downsizing (this I do understand since many of us are facing the employment issues, especially since 9/11). The ones with little to no skills prior to the downsizing sweaps are in these types of predicaments.

I asked my son how on earth he got involved with such a woman. He claimed that she was just something to do at the time (young men!). But, he found that this woman had been thru much with the type of parents she'd had. He met her at the college he was going to. They did have something in common beside sex, I guess.

I told you before, Dotsie, in yet another post, that my son has this save the world mentality. Well, the good that came out of that is that my son realized he belonged in the college where his family has already paved a way. If all goes well, we will be watching him play college football this season via television. I guess the young woman saw the star in him. If I were her age, I would want a young man like him too (not saying that because he's my son either, but because he is very intelligent, handsome and success bound).

As of Thursday last week, he is in another state while this woman is here with me! How dare he! I feel obligated since I do want my son to finish college, especially now that he has a child on the way. Now, if this continues, I will be supporting him in college and her in my house.

I'm not holding up well at all. When she asked me if she could stay here, she made sure that she mentioned, "....until I have the baby..." which is in December. She knows what kind of family we are. She knows that we are weak for the unborn child already. God knows I would like to think that somehow I can 'raise' her enough to be a good mother to my grandchild, but, reality is telling me something different.

She does have another job which is quite a distance from here, part-time, low pay. She really angered me this morning when she woke me up to ask if she could use my car since she was running late for public transportation. See, the morning prior, her screaming children woke me up just about the same time. I was exhausted since it was their first day here and the rules needed enforcement.

I could simply strangle my son for putting me in such a position. I work from home, plus I'm trying to finish a first novel. I need and want the silence of no interruption. This is really going to interfere with what I've planned to do a lifetime.

Do I simply walk away from this or embrace this woman and her children. Either way, I face unvinvited trouble. My heart wont let me think of my grandchild wandering in the type of world this woman is providing. My heart wont let me interrupt my daughter's life either. I am really confused. I hate the feeling of nitpicking when I simply want them to respect my things...'stop this, dont do that, NO...' all day long. It's obvious that this wont last very long. My patience is already thin.

Sugaree