Over compensation from a single parent, or one who has remarried is a very common problem. Unfortunately, sometimes it can lead to the child (especially one growing into the situation) expecting life/parent/step-parent to bend to their every whine...In their effort to do good, the enabling parent becomes just that, an enabler. Limits to their "making up for a bad parent" helpfullness are never set and another unfortunate thing is that the helping hand of the parent(s) seems to be driven by guilt. Guilt over not being able to hold the family together, not being able to be both a mother/father, or be there every single waking hour of their children's lives, or just guilt because they feel like they have failed everyone, including the spouse that left. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

Maybe...and I'm guessing here Dianne, so bear with me, but maybe your hubby is overcompensating because his job has so much pressure that he feels guilty for not being able to be there all the time and because she left??? Just a stab in the dark.

JJ