Dianne, I'm sorry to hear the sadness and anger in your words. It is easy to understand your resentment. I think you were right to protect your home. It is your sanctuary.
Your husband is wrong to abandon you when you are being attacked (by anyone). And he is even more wrong if he joins in the attack. That's abuse.
Chatty asked why you married him. Was he different during the courtship as many men are? Did you meet or know the sons before?

My only suggestion would be a church marriage retreat. They are running them all over the U.S. now and I hear so many people say it has not only saved, but completely changed their marriage to something they can not only live with, but something wonderful.

smile