Diane,
You're so sweet. How long have you been a step-mom? What ages are they?
What I don't understand about G's behavior is they've had a step mom before who was a witch...really. She never had their best interest at heart and she treated them and my husband badly...this was several years ago of course. I'm the complete opposite...I've nurtured them, been there for them, and never disrespected them. For that, I get rewarded with a slap in the face for saying something to them about disrespecting my property. They're learning that I am fair but I am not a push over. How they've handled this is evidently a problem for them. Not for me. I stand firm and know that I am not in the wrong here. They're behaving like a 2 year old who is pushing and seeing how far they can go before I give in...
When G told his dad that I hadn't done anything for them lately I sat down and made a list of things just to see if G was in fact correct. The list is very long of the things that Larry and I have done for G and his wife. When I tried to write down what we had received from G and his wife the list is blank...except for 'a hard time.' I don't do things for someone expecting something in return, but if G wants to get into a contest about who has done what for whom, then he's the one with egg on his face, not me and Larry. Ingrate and selfish defines G's character at the moment and his wife's.
I can and will be alright if I never interact with them again. I didn't marry them I married Larry. If this is all they have to offer in the way of a relationship...what can we do for them and only grief for us, then we're both better off with them being out of our picture until they grow up and see that how they are behavior is unacceptable behavior in a grownup world.
I know Larry is and will have a tougher time than I as they are his children and naturally he wants them in his life...but, at what price? I for one will never give up my principles to placate childish behavior from an adult. I think this is part of their problem...they've finally met an adult who sees through them and who is not willing to play their game. If they want to be a part of mine and Larry's world they need to be adults, not babies.