So Bliss, you said .. 'someday someone will think i'm special and treasure me' that's true, but will it be a knight in shining armour ? Are we not old enough now to realize such a person exists only in fantasies ? There are kind and gentle men, but they too are as vulnerable as the rest of us .

An essential part of healing is honesty... about our situation, the part we ourselves played in getting here and what we want for today and tomorrow .... Whether through naivety,desperation, or what have you, some of us have made certain decisions which were not too bright ....... and we pay dearly, you said "please understand it still hurts" .... well i guess eh, anyone who is insulted, kicked, ignored, abandoned, rejected by a person they trusted, will hurt in a thousand ways, and begin to doubt their own worth, you then said "i still love him" ..... Bliss, he is helping you financially are you confusing gratitude with love? Are you feeling an obligation 'to love' ... because of this financial need ?