It sounds like things have gotten out of control. I just can't believe your husband allows this and doesn't step up to the plate. I think what I'm hearing you say is you don't like the person you've become around her. I can't blame you. Constant stress can turn us into strangers.

I think you need to sit your husband down and tell him he either starts being a dad and husband or you're out of there. Right now, he's acting like an outsider who doesn't care about anyone but himself.