Maybe reverse psychology would work here. She is doing this to spite the two of you and hurt the marriage by causing stress. DO NOT put anything of this suggestion in writing but maybe your husband can speak with her and say (LIE HERE)he no longer wants the aggrivation of fighting over this boy since you have one of your own, so she can have him full-time, it is causing trouble in the marriage. I'll bet you after she hears that she will want you to share or give custody to your husband just for spite.....This is not anything you want in writing just in case and would be hear say from a spiteful ex wife in court so wouldn't count. This little fella is probably so confused with the poison you know she is spewing so if and when you see him, just love him and let him call you whatever he feels comfortable with until he is living with you. Most spiterful people end up spiteing themselves. This is just another take on your situation...Sometimes acting like you could care less is the best way to win....