K, with Divorces that involve children - sometimes the wisdom of Solomon is needed - which is what Chatty referenced earlier - but I would recommend that you and your partner seriously rethink a few things and make sure what you are doing is about truth, honesty and for the best interest of G, because anything else WILL boomerang and come back to you in ways that you did not wish - with or without writing.

One. Move back. Give G both his Dad and his Mom on a more consistent basis without the long time spans between and you and A will be a bonus. There are jobs to be had anywhere, trust me. God will make a way; we just make mistakes.

Two. Be the better person. If G's mom is just having trouble supporting G financially be certain it is not something your partner is helping to create or contribute to by not giving fair and equitable child support to meet the child's needs. Make sure she is receiving equitable child support and that she is being provided every possible resource - state funded programs, child health care, etc. - to ensure that G is being taken care of. There is too much out there available for ANY child to go without. You and your partner's job is make sure that NO MATTER what, G is provided for. It doesn't matter if it is not "your turn" - this is a child who can't get out there and do better for himself than what is being done for him.

By being the better person, it may require you and your partner to use the wisdom of Solomon. Back in the day, Solomon - a very aged/ancient wise King had two women come to him. One woman didn't have rights to a child, but the other woman did. Both claimed rights to the child. Solomon seeing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with these two broads, decided to test a mother's true love. He called out to a nearby soldier and said "Okay, I know what to do - I'll just cut this child in half and you can have half and then you can have half...then maybe the two of you can switch off to visit the other half." (paraphrase). The mother without rights thought this was a great idea - she would fight to the end of the child for rights to this child. The mother WITH rights was horrified and dissolved into tears and with every ounce of strength she could muster, having lost so much of her dream already, told Solomon to give the boy to the other woman. "I'd rather have him alive than living dead and in pieces". Solomon then took the child in his arms and cradled him - he knew that ONE woman had made the right decision. Then he placed the baby boy into the arms of his BIRTH mother, the woman with rights, and they went their way.


K, 4 month/4 month visitation cannot continue, you do realize that, right? That is dividing G. - Splitting him in half, into two parts/two worlds that could never seem whole to him and will always seem more part dead, than more alive. Does that make sense at all? That is detrimental to a child's sense of security and stability. If you can't move back - which I believe that you all could - then I would highly recommend letting G's mom have full custody. In doing so, you will not sacrifice this child on the alter of the court - and put G through what I've heard called "Custodial Rape", a violation of the child's rights to feel safe, comforted and secure.

By stepping back, and not wanting the picture perfect family you imagined that you would have with G's Dad - you will be giving G what he deserves to have: Two biological parents who can work together for his best interests, not fighting over him, and you and A as a BONUS and a blessing in his life.

Just my opinion...as a bystander to your situation.