Certainly the bottom line is that I want what is best for G.
Moving back is not an option. The place we lived has a poor health care and education system and the incidences of drug & alcohol abuse, family violence and teen suicides are the highest in the country.
G's mother was violent with her x-husband as well had problems with drugs and alcohol.
When he is with her, he has behavior problems and with us is very well adjusted and responds well to routine and reasonable discipline.
We take parenting very seriously.
The biological parents cannot work together because she is not a reasonable person and often volatile. I have supported my partner to be calm and supportive to her and any communications I've had with her have been friendly and supportive.
I posted because it is so tough having to communicate with a person that is so difficult to deal with. I know that it has been difficult for her and so always try to give her the benefit of the doubt but she repeatedly insults me.
As far as her financial situation, she has a wage that is $20k more than my partner, she just has poor spending habits and likely spends a fair deal on alcohol and probably drugs.
Also, G does not call his mother 'Mommy' but in a different language so that title to me would be unique and by request by him.
It would be nice if you (dallas) could counsel her and tell her not to sacrifice G's wellbeing for her selfishness.