Number5, I agree with everything that's been said.

It's imperative that you leave this very dangerous situation ASAP. It will only get worse. You're endangering yourself, your daughter and your granddaughter.

If you're worried about the money and time and effort you threw into this relationship already --- the longer you stay, the more you'll lose. Cut your losses before you lose everything -- and I do mean EVERYTHING.

See a lawyer. NOW.

You cannot fix your marriage. It was damned from the start because you husband has been abusing you in one form or another since Day 1.

Get out.
Get out.
Get out.
Get out.