Hi,
I read the comments last nite and just pondered it before I responded. I think its both. I think its mostly the boyfriend. As I have said, he and I are not the best match, but I had decided in the big picture I loved him enough to accept our differences and find a place for our relationship. Well, I guess that concept is not working. I have had alot of turmoil in the last few years, sudden death of my beloved mother, job change, grown kids moving out, my thyroid removed, my ongoing struggle with depression and "mental" pause. He has put up with alot.
In some defense, he is very very difficult to communicate with and when he does want to hear something, he just goes silent. He is one, that if you ignore it long enough it goes away. His grown kids are just an addition. (however, they are still spoiled, hard to like and my own grown kids find them impossible to be with for more than a few minutes)

Sigh...so hear I am. Can I just run away, like the girl in Eat, Pray, Love (that's another board!)

p.s. I called my therapist today, haven't figured out how I'm going to pay for it though