Dotsie,

The financial part is big..I have to admit it. Lots of other things. I am attached to me, I have to say. But how? Probably familiarity, fear of being alone and some sense of fondness. He is not completely the boogie man. He was very supportive during my divorce, roller coaster with my then teenage son and the sudden illness and death of my mother. I hear all of you saying..thats nice, but it doesn't mean you owe him your life. I know, I know. The financial thing has been my lifetime nemesis.

On a better note, I prayed and asked for strength of mind and spirit and guidance to help me make the best choices for myself. Well...today is the first day in a while that I woke up and din't feel so down, gloomy and struggling. Hmmmm...I trully am grateful. The depression in the morning is awful. Makes you now want to get up.

So, today has started peacefully. Thanks for the support