Hannelore, you're so right about children missing out on having someone to take their side. My paternal grandmother died when I was very young, and my maternal grandparents lived too far away. Yet I adored them...thankfully, my maternal grandmother used to write me letters, many of which I still have today. Those letters kept us connected, and I'll always cherish that relationship...but it wasn't the same as having those two loving arms to cuddle me when nobody else could understand me.

That's what I try to be for my granddaughter - I'm almost ALWAYS on her side, and she knows it, and we've become kindred spirits.

Both hubby and I also try to be a positive presence in the lives of many of the children in our neighbourhood, many of whom don't have any extended family in this country. We often sit outside on the front step talking with them about their day and the troubles so many of them face in school (especially prejudice). It's sad to hear their stories (many have very painful backgrounds) but we try to encourage them and be on their side when we know that not many others are there for them.

Maybe that's one of the gifts a childless woman has to give to the world - it's precisely because I don't have any children of my own that I have the time and energy to give a listening presence and "on your side" comfort to other people's children who are feeling just as alone, misfitted and isolated as I have so often felt.