It may be a cultural difference Di. but when I meet people as I have at work who are childless I just dont feel the need to ask them about their situation.I also dont mention my own children until asked.Likewise when people ask what my children "do" say school achievment or academic attainment I dont like when they say "you must be proud of them"I would be proud of any child doing their best.My friend who has a dughter with a sydrome feels no less than I do.The girl just has different needs.
I realised long ago that peoples souls are important.When I see an old person I think on the child they were and the love that surrounded them.I feel empathy.
In fact I admire my children because they did study and achieve but I suported them in what they wanted to do.They didn't do it for me or their Daddy.
Like Hanelore I mean no hurt I only offer my perspective.
Mountain ash