Pamphlets and kits bear the "voices" of those who do not share my experience as a mother and grandmother. Some women are verbally forthright at first instance but, others cannot or would not and therefore, do not let their feelings known. And it is for those "some" that I would "listen" and welcome pamphlets and kits.

I think it is in our human nature to be spontaneous and statements made, which sometimes may appear as reckless abandon of the other person's feelings or circumstances, are part and parcel of that. Surely, if one would gauge sincerity, it ought to be from conduct that follows the seemingly reckless encounter.

This thread started a month after Gabriel was born. Now, it has come home. Gabriel passed away in April. He was my sister's only grandchild and I have a grandson who was born a month after Gabriel. The recent news is that my niece may never become a mother again because of the high risk of severe holoprosencephaly to any child she conceives. Holoprosencephaly was what Gabriel had. My niece's circumstances would follow "not by choice".

How has it been since Gabriel passed away and my niece's circumstances following that? Delicate. My children and grandchildren are central to who I am and everything that I do in life involves them. I do not know how to carry on a conversation with my sister and niece without drifting into my family life, especially these few months, where I am with the grandchildren four days a week. I can only pray and rely on the thought that my sister, niece and I know each other's hearts well enough to overcome comparisons and all that comes with it.