I have just returned from a day trip to the northern part of Sweden. The fields with their round bails of hay looked like something out of old paintings from harvest time. The trip took 6 hrs. all in all. So my head is heavy and still buzzing from the drone of our old Volvo. But I had to check this thread..thank you, Di, because it is SO IMPORTANT..as many say.

Dear dear fellow women and sisters.. so much devasting pain and so much honesty..I don´t think that I have ever met so much in one place. And I am filled with love and respect for you all. I sincerely mean this.

I have the greatest respect for you that have decided in one way or another not to have children. And I sometimes wonder if I should not have been so selfless as to think as you do. There is the reality of the future that doesn´t look very bright and hopeful, if I really take the time to take in what global warming and destruction means. But I often don´t take the time because I am too chicken to do it. Then I really have to SEE what is ahead and SEE the world that I have brought my children (and grandchildren) into. And then there are all the issues from my own life that I thought I could cope with and not spread to my children. Issues like my incest problems, my own need for love and acknowledgement..my fear of being left alone..my cultural problems..having been born in the Czech Rep., raised in the US and married and living in Sweden..etc. etc. There are some of you out there that decided to put a stop to your own issues and the picture of the future and DO something about it..take responsibility. And that decision..not to have children..has brought you pain and a shutting out by well meaning fools in our society. But you have decided to weather all that because you BELIEVE in your reasons and in yourselves. You are actively saying NO to a continuation of the problems..poison..in yourselves and our society. Yes, I have children and I would not erase any of them..could not. But some of them are battling with the problems I have bestowed upon them just by being their mother. And, so far, some of them are creating the same scenario for their children. My children fulfill me..but YOU have taken an active role in stopping what maybe inevitably comes and will come.

After reading what you all wrote, I am still wary of pamphlets and kits on how to react. Some of the reactions you have experienced have been very hurtful..very very hurtful..and stupid..yes. But they were not taught from a self help kit on how to react. They revealed alittle bit of the person who said them which gave you an indication of the sort of person you were dealing with. Can´t that be helpful in knowing who you want as a friend or not? I don´t know..Ignorance..yes, we are dealing with ignorance in some cases..but can others KNOW how it feels when your daughter takes her last breaths in a hospital room and the silence that follows? Can I expect true understanding of such moments from my fellow humans? I don´t think so. But perhaps I can acknowledge their attempts at trying to reach me in my sorrow..to let me know that they care and dare to show it? I don´t know..I don´t know..because all the experiences that I have had the honor of sharing on this forum tonite are so different..so very different. But I do hear and feel the pain.