After our online "ministry" began, I had not realized that "childless not by choice" could also include the death of one. With my "tunnel vision" of my own situation, I did not "see" it. This is very sad indeed. I cannot stay I understand, but I'm sad for them nonetheless.

Regarding the "childles by choice or not by choice" question one poster posed, I see it this way. If one is saddened about not having children, it is NOT by choice. Others' opinion certainly differ, but that is my feeling.

As for my life today, daily I think/ponder about how my life will be. Not long ago, I received a copy of a "Family Tree" report my niece in the UK had to write. When I saw, with my own eyes, my "family branch" ended with me, it hit me hard! No legacy...nothing. I end, period! Oftentimes I feel like a nothing, no one. No one's mother, no ones grandmother. Just me. Yes, I am a wife of course, and a sister or daughter. But we all know women are "identified" today with how many offspring they have. I am a FUR MOM!!

No I am not depressed. I'm simply stating my thoughts and feelings on this subject matter.

As far as secondary infertility, I do not understand it. My first response would be "They at least have ONE!" But then, when I hear the replies to my situation such as "At least you don't have to (fill in the blank..there are many!), I get the heartache of a reply when ones does not think before they speak. (Dotsie, you hit that one on the head!!)

Regarding the pamphlets and brochures on how to respond to certain situations...if it is someone near and dear to me, I do research and learn HOW to be a friend to them thru their hardship. Right..we ALL go thru heartache.

As we know here on this board, it's crucial to hear "I've walked in your shoes. I get it!". For me, there are not words more healing! Been there, done that. My own family all have children. They are sad for me, yes. But they don't GET IT!

Then I think about getting older. Yep, just turned 50 with no health insurance. A DH who is getting older (57 now). Where will I go? Not sure, but have a God who promises to take care of me.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I truly appreciate the dialogging going on here. The truth be told: EDUCATION IS THE KEY!!!