Christmas used to be a favorite holiday of mine. With three kids, I used to enjoy all the trappings of Christmas. From the tree, to the gifts, to the cooking, to the different traditions, I loved it all. But three years ago my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer just before Thanksgiving and I flew to Texas (from MD) to spend what would be her last Christmas with her. I left 4 days after Christmas only to have to return a month later in a snowstorm when she died. Now this year, just before Thanksgiving, my dearest Donnie, who had been battling one setback after another from stomach cancer, had to be removed from life support and died. A part of me died with him. That part that reasons things out just shut down. My head understands that he would never recover fully, but my heart just doesn't get it. My head knows that I need to make things better here for our 8 year old daughter and show her that life goes on but my heart just doesn't care. Christmas this year is a chore, just something else that has to be done like the laundry. I plod through each day trying to pretend that I am excited by something that I just dont feel.

So a Christmas Support Group would be nice....I have to get through this for her sake. She needs to know that life does go on.