Melissa, I'm so sorry for your "agony of absence". This is such a difficult time of year when the absence is fresh and the agony is still so raw. I hope that you'll stay here with us and let us help you through the next couple of weeks. The joy of Christmas will someday come back, but probably not this year...be kind and compassionate with yourself as you continue to grieve...it's okay not to be in the Christmas spirit this year. I wonder if your daughter isn't feeling somewhat the same. Maybe she needs help to get through it too. Life DOES go on, and you both will too, slowly, painfully, one moment, one day at a time. It's all you can do, just move from one moment to the next and pull yourself through. Let us help. I wish I knew what to say, but I know there aren't too many words to ease that anguish. Just know that we're here for you. Come and let us help you in whatever way we can.